A shift in life's seasons part I - BETRAYAL

A couple of entries ago, I alluded to the fact that I wanted to post about the work I was doing with the Red School - namely their Wise Power, Power of Menopause course.

Since the end of the course, there has been much processing, settling and integration, and I wasn’t able to find the words that I wanted to share to convey the journey that this has taken me on. It is by no means a case of reaching a destination, rather, it is acknowledging the shift in energy both spiritually, emotionally and physcially.

I felt it apt to open this blog with a powerful quote from the Wise Power book;

‘At menopause, no pill or drug can replace the need for doing less, moving more slowly, resting, eating a nutrient dense diet and reducing environmental toxins.’

Living in a world where we demand instant gratification, this may be something that is hard to read. As a society we have become conditioned to believe that by looking outwards we can find the answers to suppress discomfort, whether that be feelings or sensations. You may have heard the old adage, ‘everything you need is within you’ and thought, ‘aye right!’, but you know what? This truly is a journey into the self, processing, sensing and allowing - and that takes time, you are required to let yourself enter a state of being rather than doing - but how do you do that?

The course and the underpinning book, written by Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer lays out the journey towards menopause in 5 distinct steps. It should be noted that this journey is by no means linear, and one can see-saw back and forth between the phases. There is also no timescale for this journey. I liken it to getting on a train to a destination that you want to get to, but you have no idea how long that will take - possibly quite relevant in these funky times! This ‘not knowing’ can be the source of frustration. What if you allowed yourself the opportunity to embrace the unknown, lean into the discomfort and accept?Perhaps giving yourself the space to allow what arises to arise, without resistance.

Phase I is known as betrayal. Most certainly where I am at in peri menopause. Its seen as the phase of sitting with the unknown, holding the tension and observing what arises.

Symptoms of menopause are well documented, every part of our being is affected by this powerful change in the body chemistry. It feels apt that we should honour that by giving it the time and attention it deserves. It is often seen as the season of Autumn, a time to shed the layers and explore what lies in the bare branches of our being. This requires sitting with the darkness, and often this life stage is a time when unresolved issues from our past come back to say hello. Its raw and vulnerable, and it can feel overwhelming, yet there are rays of light which penetrate through if we allow ourselves to sit with it.

Please note, that this is not a matter of suffering, rather it is sitting with discomfort and accepting. For example, you may find you don’t have the same energy that you used to have - what about allowing yourself to rest more? If you have been a person who is always ‘doing’ this can be quite a challenge ( I know, because that’s me!). See this time as an opportunity to let go of things that no longer feel right for you. As a trained Ashtanga yogi, I currently dont have the desire to push myself through a regular 90 min practice, so I dont! I have learned that we need to keep the body healthy as well as the mind. Currently for me that’s with a daily meditation and breathwork practice, and often a more regulated movement practice. This doesn’t mean we are giving up, merely changing frequency and finding what works and doesn’t work for us.

Think of this life stage as being like an onion - stripping back the layers to reveal what is there, what matters, and what does not. Its letting go of your ego for a bit, and this can be incredibly challenging.

Doing this inner work does take time, and if you are low on energy can feel like a mammoth undertaking.

In the next blog I shall talk about the next phase of the journey. A lot of what I have mentioned here we talk about more in our workshops. My next workshop is a collaborative event with The Sacred Space in the form of a Menopause Yoga and Ayurveda retreat on Saturday the 4th February. You can find out more and book by clicking on the workshop tab on my website.

Please do reach out to someone if you are finding this life phase completely overwhelming, www.findahelpline.com is a service that you can reach if you are feeling suicidal.